Upbringings

I.

Adam Riverton
lived across the street
in your new neighborhood
in your new town
and he attended your new middle school
where you knew nobody
and nobody knew you

you remember Adam from the school bus
first time you ever rode one
you took a seat up front
and the bus barreled
past cookie cutter homes
and you stared out the window
observing classmates
as they rushed
back into the arms of their mothers

eventually
only you and Adam remained
inside that fateful bus
the distance infinite between your seats
positioned at opposite ends
and you may not have known it at the time
but it would be the smell of the diesel engine
from a rusted exhaust pipe
twelve years later
that would give you the flashback
to your forgotten friend
Adam Riverton
your brother in spirit
and that maybe
you should check on him

the stop sign
was where it all started

when the bus driver yanked open
the sliding door
and your mother, waiting for you

asked about your first day
but your face made it clear
and then she saw Adam Riverton
the older kid
from across the street
she invited him over for dinner
a surprise
as Adam’s family
looked different than yours

that night
you would learn
that your mother’s hospitality
could bring anyone together
because Adam told her
it was some of the best cooking
he had ever had
and then your mother
took you both to blockbuster
to rent action movies
and your mother’s face
filled with pride
for helping you find
your first friend

the next day
you and Adam journeyed the neighborhood
teaming together
against the other neighborhood kids
to a dirt clod war
at the abandoned construction site
jagged rocks spiraling through the air
from one base
to the other
like artillery fire
finally, you and Adam high fived
cheering sweet victory
as a direct hit
exploded
on another kid’s forehead
and broke his skin
from then on
Adam Riverton
took you under his wing
it was Adam who protected you
like an older brother
from the bullies at school
who eroded your self esteem
down to nothing

it was Adam
who made the pain finally stop
because he was feared
and word got out
that he would beat the shit out of anyone
who messed with you again

it was Adam Riverton
who got you high for the first time
a 2AM rendezvous
by the broken streetlight
he hollowed out a newport cigarette
and loaded it with marijuana
he had stolen from his stepdad
Adam gave you the first hit
and the orange zippo flame
flickered in the dark
while your fingers vibrated
you passed the ciga-weed
back and forth
back and forth
and talked about what you would be
when you grew up

you remember walking back home
to the wrath of your mother
waiting at the kitchen table
she must have had ESP

because she always seemed to wake herself up
when a chicken left the coop
one look at your eyes was all it took
for her to screech
right into your nerve endings
about how pot makes you
stupid hungry paranoid and tired
and unmotivated
and you promised
that you would never smoke it again

so, when Adam got you high
the next time
he taught you things
you probably wouldn’t have learned anywhere else

about martin luther king jr
and malcom x
and tupac shakur
and electric relaxation
from a tribe called quest
and how zulu warriors
believed in a spirit realm
and how dave chappelle
thought crack cocaine
was invented by the government
and how gil scott heron sang
that the revolution
would not be televised
it would be live

and you wondered why
of all things
it would be diesel engine smoke
pouring from a passing school bus
on your commute to work
that would trigger this surge of emotion
so foreign
so overwhelming
that you decided to pull over
as memories of Adam cascaded in
chaotically like a film reel

and, in that moment, you knew
you were experiencing
was one of those
god moments
people speak about
and you wanted to cry

immediately, you asked around
and it came as a shock
when you discovered
your friend
Adam Riverton
was now facing life without parole
inside a prison cell
for a murder
he didn’t commit

II.

or a murder that wasn’t his fault
he told you so himself
using a cellphone his cellmate smuggled in
a portal back into the free world
until the guards would confiscate it

you tracked down Adam’s mother
who gave you the number
he would love to hear from you, she said
as his appeal, Adam’s chance at freedom
was just a few days away

you’ll never forget the deafening sound
that prison cell walls make
through a phone
and the hopeless longing
of your friend facing life
inside of a prison cell

Adam Riverton laughed
at memories of your mother
like the time she found out he was getting you high
but she still let the two of you hang out
because your mother knew
that Adam had a good heart

and then you thought to yourself
how different everything had become
in such a short period of time
and all you wanted was to be there with Adam
and see him smile again
and you both cried when you told Adam
your twin brother killed himself

and Adam was so sorry
he couldn’t be there for the funeral

and, in that moment
without warning
Adam began to pray for you
through a contraband phone
as he sat inside his prison cell
in angola, louisiana

W. Lee Ingram holds degrees in Accounting from The University of Mississippi, where he lives and works as a teacher. His late twin brother, Ben, studied creative writing and wrote short stories also. Since his passing in 2017, Ingram has taken up writing as a way to continue his creative voice.