Visceral

I want my words to taste
Of pure copper, gushing blood
Like the inside of my mouth when
I bite this tongue and turn cheek, your
Stomach in knots like a roiling ocean
So as your seaweed curtain swells
My waters will bloom the deepest red

I want your bones to remember
Each break that tore through my
Calcified lungs, creak out the name
Of countless fractured dreams and
As my heart beats out a song, you whisper
Along in paralyzing fear of the sugared
Smiles that disguise my daily dread

And when you finally close your eyes there
Will be no place to escape what is
Exposed by the venom in these lines, no
Way to erase today in the hopes of a better
tomorrow

Because I am me and you are you

Because you offer me no words
I’ve unlearned your love of my own
I can still remember the last time I asked
If you had gotten a chance to be a part
Of the life I am trying to build
Like a flash to flame as we light our tiny chiminea
You burnt out what little hope I had left
Leaving me wishing I could spark that type of passion
With the words I’ve written for you

Because I ignore that voice in my mind
I give up so many pieces to polish yours
Even though you are never offering them
For me to keep, only to hold in my rapture
Until you need them for someone else’s display
Leaving me wandering about in search
Of my scattered holdings

Because we cannot let go
Of the dreams we had for the other
Our words feel unfounded and irrelevant
When did we stop presenting the best
Versions of ourselves at this kitchen table?
Is it because I am suddenly the only one
Of us still putting in an effort between
Magnetic knives and boards?

Because you roll over blindly
And pull me in like I am the sole life raft
In an ocean of interchangeable faces

Because I reach for your fingers, pell-mell
Unwilling to lose your face among
This ocean of countless unknowns

Because we keep working to fit in
to the empty spaces in each other’s lives

Rebecca Thrush works in property management in Massachusetts but utilizes poetry and digital mixed media as creative vehicles to explore the symmetries between nature and interpersonal relationships. Her poems have appeared in Open Minds Quarterly, Wingless Dreamer, 86 Logic, and Coffee People Zine. Select pieces are also available online across various publishers, most notably with Line of Advance.